I always say this, that I need to get back on here. So many social sites to keep up with it’s crazy. I don’t do much writing anymore, but I’m keeping this for all my other pages like the bands stuff, and life’s goals list and everything else. I think I still have a couple poems I never posted so I’ll find those and hopefully get to posting them c=
Hope the 2012 year went good and that 2013 is amazing for you!
Aside
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Posted: December 27, 2012 in Depression
Broken Promises
Breathing’s tough, it’s closing in
Ripping my heart in two.
Only you can fix this now
Knowing the fight will continue.
Everything’s fine, you say.
No it’s not, that’s a lie you’re seeing through.
Please stay, it’s all I beg of you. But
Reality kicks in, you’ll rarely come back.
Oh, god, what have I done? I’ve created a
Mess and can’t stay on track.
It’s not my fault I miss you so bad.
So far from home… It’s hard this adulthood,
Everything would be perfect though. Please?
Stay here like you promised you would.
- – - – -
Nicole Shaddix
August 8, 2012
Age 19
Hello hello, my has it been forever.
Normally as I’ve said this isn’t like a post blog type thing but honestly, I just have hardly written anything, but needed to keep this alive. I don’t know why I can’t write right now, but it’s majorly sadface. I’ve been pretty focused on school and production.
You can hear some of the stuff on my soundcloud. I’ll probably start focusing on adding a production page to this site and post that as well as the poems –if I can get writing that is.
xoxo
Nicole
This is for all of those struggling to find some love in their life. We will light the way with our hearts to yours. This page is to promote awareness and help against self harm. So many struggle with depression, cutting, suicidal tendencies, and various other things and nobody shows concern. It’s time we show them just how much we all care.
Mission:
To save as many people as we can from harming themselves and the people that care about them.
Description:
This page is about giving back and helping those who are in need. Throughout life everyone has encountered someone who has attempted suicide, cuts, or does various other harmful things. Whether you realize it or not, these people are all around you. Now it is time to give back to these people what they’ve struggled so hard to make it through. Life. It’s time to take action and help everyone we can, and show them blood isn’t the only thing that can pour out of your body, love can too.
Everyone can change, because the past is dead. It’s time to let love bleed red.
Please support this cause at
http://www.facebook.com/Lovebleedsred
Alright! So normally this is where I post all of my poems, however I haven’t been writing as much lately -which suuucks. So I’m posting this here to keep updated a little and show off my newest of the newo
Yesterday I got my tattoo for being one year clean from self harm and I have never been more proud of myself 
I never thought I could be this happy, it’s incredible.
For all of you out there struggling, there is hope. If I could do it, so can you <3
This was taken right after it was done, so when it heals I'll definitely update with a better picture
And speaking of tattoos… my boyfriend and I were talking the night before about other tattoos and he said when we get married he wants to get a little diamond tattoo on his ring finger =3 He said he has lots more planned out for us later on in the years so that’s exciting
I Promise
Like a drop of rain you slide over me,
Slow and steady will win this race
But we just want to jump ahead to the future
Together, to our final home and place.
We’ll cherish this love with everything we’ve got.
The fire’s not going to die out this time,
Trust me. We’ve made our vows and live by them
Because every moment we’re creating our storyline.
I promise to love you endearingly
Through thick and thin with my whole heart.
Not the air or the land, or a bitchy ex
Can get in the way to keep us apart.
I promise to support you every second, of every minute,
Of every hour, every day.
It’s the truth so don’t get caught up on the words
Just because it’s a cliché.
I promise to take care of you when sick
And make you some soup and tea.
Then we’ll curl up in bed for naps
After movies with our blankies.
I promise to be honest
Even if I’m scared for what you’ll say,
Because it’s the only way we’ll continue to grow
And not let what we have decay.
I promise to do anything for you
Since you’ve been my shining light.
There’s no other person I’d rather be with
Than you, for the rest of my life.
- – - – -
Nicole Shaddix
February 29, 2012
Age 19
Yes!! One of my poems I recorded is now published to a high profile of pro voice over actors! It’s the first one, called “Heaven’s Tears“.
This is deffs gonna be on my radio demo
Link
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Posted: January 29, 2012 in Site Plans
Our Fears vs. Dreams
What’s your biggest fear?
What’s your greatest dream?
Perhaps these two are not so different.
Maybe they make up who we are.
When asked these questions, what comes to mind?
Well, let’s deal with fears to start
It can be described as a distress from anything
That makes you worried, anxious or afraid.
Sometimes to avoid these emotions you put up walls
To shield yourself, and it becomes your barricade.
A number may have to face their fears
As they live their life day to day,
While others aren’t as constantly reminded
But it’s still scares them either way.
My main fear would be losing loved ones
And having to face more pain that follows.
I can’t imagine the real suffering,
As I still hurt without meeting my past uncle.
A part of me also fears the future
For all that life has in store,
But we have to live in the present
So for now it’s on a mild ignore
Opposing our fears lie our dreams.
They can be described as desires
Or visions of fantasies we imagine,
And tend to ache for these within our souls.
However our dreams tend to change
Depending on the person, place or time.
And sometimes the things we say we want
Don’t reflect our hidden feelings inside.
My greatest dreams, depend
On which part of my life I’m talking about.
And in sum those dreams
Are the root where pride will sprout.
The first of three main dreams:
Continue staying clean from self-mutilation,
Even though there are times I wish
I could relive those painful durations.
Secondly, the life he’s helped me find
Is better than I could have ever imagined
And to spend the rest of my days with him,
As his wife, is something I long for and desire.
And at lastly, there’s my career,
In which the ideal job plays its role.
Always has radio been the way I’ve wanted my earnings
And college is allowing it to unroll.
But no matter what each of us live for
Whether we confront our dreams and fears
I want you always to remember you’re not alone
No matter how lonesome it may seem
- – - – -
Nicole Shaddix
December 27, 2011
Age 18
Satisfaction Guaranteed
I wish this was how my arms looked…
Only for it to be real blood instead of ink.
But it’s not just random slashes every where,
I don’t lose control and act before I think.
Nope. If I have to live with these scars
On my body for the eternal longevity,
I’d map things out before I take action,
For everyday it’s something I’d have to see.
Being so close now, within arms reach of the blades
Brings on tears as I question, how could I wish such thoughts?
I was doing so good, well, for the most part that is,
Until there’s a sudden jolt in the course of life’s plot.
Then things can start to spiral out of control
And all that comes to mind is my escape,
The one I ran to for so many years
It became a routine I’d anticipate.
But after trying to get clean I had to changes those ways-
And boy let me tell you is it hard.
So many times I’ve wanted to give up again
But I never thought I’d ever come this far.
Never before have I ever been so proud of myself
It’s something I have to keep pushing on.
I’m three quarters of the way there, so close to one year
And then comes the first of my symbolizing tattoo collections.
- – - – -
Nicole Shaddix
December 16, 2011
Hello!!
